%%
"I tried digging myself out of a hole and hit a gas pipe." -- Duplex 1999.10.05
%%
Sigmentation fault.
%%
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
%%
Reactor error -- core dumped.
%%
A mouse is a device used to focus xterms.
%%
A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by
blowing first.
%%
Hi! I'm a tagline virus! Steal me & join in the fun!
%%
All generalizations are false, including this one.
%%
All programmers are optimists.
%%
My other computer is a HAL 9000.
%%
The sigmonster ate my sig and all I got was this stupid tagline.
%%
The option to override self-destruct has expir&*%#NO CARRIER
%%
Murphy was an optimist.
%%
It ALWAYS goes wrong, especially if it's mission critical!
%%
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
%%
Who stole my tagline?
%%
Here be dragons.
%%
} July, 2003:  WHERE IN HELL DID FRESNO GET NUKES?!? -- TI Oracle,
Internet Oracularities #1168
%%
Huh? What do you mean the users still have files open??
%%
I don't care! Reboot that server! I have work to do!
%%
The more I learn about the Internet, the more amazed I am that it works at all.
%%
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a perl script.
%%
My other sig is a 4000 line perl program.
%%
Warning: you are logged into reality as root.
%%
You are lost in a twisty maze of little standards, all different
%%
Did you know Linux stands for Linux Is Not UniX ?
%%
"Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes
hurtling down the highway." -- Andrew Tanenbaum in _Computer Networks_
%%
Variables won't, constants aren't.
%%
Moo!
%%
Press every key to continue.
%%
*** EVENT HORIZON * DO NOT CROSS *** EVENT HORIZON * DO NOT CROSS ***
%%
May the Source be with you!
%%
Send the black helicopters.
%%
ASCII Ribbon campaign against HTML Usenet posts and e-mail
%%
"...I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big and
professional like gnu)... " -- Linus Torvalds, 1991
%%
Do not underestimate the power of the command line. -- RB West, SDM
%%
Due to circumstances beyond our control, we regret to inform you that
circumstances are beyond our control. --Paul Benoit
%%
Within five minutes, ReRob learned that walking through the basement of
Fuller Labs wearing futuristic body armor and pushing a variable-geometry
motorcycle raises eyebrows. Telling students that this is the true power
of UNIX didn't help. -- Undocumented Features I.
%%
Due to a general lack of interest, Monday is cancelled.
%%
@a=split(q,,,qq,hgNbueCe nxe\nWf agr ryUpr\,,);for($i=015;;){if($i>=@a
){last};$_=$a[$i++].$a[$i-0xe];y;[A-Ma-mN-Zn-z];[N-Zn-zA-Ma-m];;print}
%%
@q=split(q??,qq?,JAPH \nacehklnorstubsqrfcnorkjpfdjpmfehi\
ljpag?);$i=0x13;while($i<=@q){print$q[ord($q[$i++])-0141]}
%%
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
%%
All generalizations are false, including this one.
%%
All programmers are optimists.
%%
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
%%
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
%%
As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716
%%
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
%%
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
%%
ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI!
%%
Back up my hard drive? I can't find the reverse switch!
%%
Best file compressor around: rm -rf / (100% compression!)
%%
Black holes were created when God divided by zero!
%%
If God is perfect, why do we have discontinuous functions?
%%
BREAKFAST.COM halted... cereal port not responding.
%%
But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!!
%%
Computer lie #1: you'll never use all that disk space.
%%
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
%%
Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot universe (y/n)?
%%
Dinner not ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
%%
Discoveries are made by not following instructions
%%
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives ?
%%
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
%%
Eschew obfuscation!
%%
He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.
%%
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
%%
!TRC eht edisni deppart ma I !pleH
%%
I can't believe my computer's on fire.
%%
I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.
%%
I only counted 100 Dalmatians...
%%
I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere...
%%
If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0!
%%
It works better when you turn the brightness up.
%%
It's Ensign Flintstone - he's Fred, Jim.
%%
It's worse than that, it's Physics, Jim!
%%
Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger: I'll be Bach!
%%
Junk: stuff we throw away.  Stuff: junk we keep.
%%
Keyboard not found - Press F1 to continue
%%
LOTUS - Let only the users suffer
%%
Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII.
%%
My computer can beat your computer.
%%
My other computer is a HAL 9000.
%%
My other vehicle is a Galaxy class starship ...
%%
My reality check just bounced.
%%
Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone.
%%
Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
%%
Obi Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: 'Use the Forks, Luke!'
%%
Ok Scotty, now!  detonate and energize!  I mean.......
%%
Pound forehead on keyboard to continue.
%%
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
%%
Program too small to fit into memory.
%%
Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
%%
Reduce carbon dioxide emmissions - stop breathing
%%
Romulan warbird decloaking&*(^*)$#%^NO CARRIER
%%
S met ing's hap ening t  my k ybo rd . .
%%
Scotty, hurry!  beam me u1šæ#c(&NO CARRIER
%%
Sector not found (A)bort, (R)etry, (C)offee?
%%
Set laser printers to stun!
%%
Shell to DOS...come in, DOS...do you read...over?
%%
Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors!
%%
Shoot your program and put it out of its memory!
%%
Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
%%
The lab called: your brain is ready
%%
The option to override self-destruct has expir$@#%$^*NO CARRIER
%%
The parity check is in the E-mail...
%%
The road to success is under construction...
%%
Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
%%
Could you continue your petty bickering ? I find it most intriguing.
%%
'Press to test.' <click>  'Release to detonate.'
%%
(A)bort, (R)etry, (W)hackitonthesideofthemonitor!
%%
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
%%
A feature is a bug with seniority.
%%
All wiyht.  Rho sritched mg kegtops awound ?
%%
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
%%
Bones: He's dead Jim! Jim: No kidding !!
%%
But I thought you did the backups!
%%
Cap'n! Cap'n! the UART's will'nae take the speed!
%%
Captain, the mains are offline and I can't send Starfleet a message!
%%
Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a SysOp.
%%
DOS never says excellent command or filename...
%%
Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded!
%%
ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo
%%
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr 
%%
hAS aNYONE sEEN mY cAPSLOCK kEY ?
%%
He's dead Jim! You get his phaser, I got his wallet.
%%
How do I set my laser printer to stun?
%%
I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!
%%
If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!
%%
If you hold a hard drive to your ear, you can hear the C.
%%
If you prick me; do I not.... leak ? -Data
%%
RAM Disk is NOT an installation procedure
%%
Resistance is useless!   (if < 1 ohm)
%%
Spock ? Why aren't you dead?
%%
Standards are wonderful!  So many to pick from!
%%
The number one computer bug is mankind!
%%
Use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
%%
User error: Please replace user and hit enter to continue
%%
WWhhaatt ddooeess hhaallff dduupplleexx mmeeaann??
%%
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my drive ?
%%
Coffee not found: user halted
%%
If you are close enough to read this, you are also in phaser range
%%
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
%%
Expert: Someone who is called in at the last minute to share the blame
%%
Etiquette: Knowing which finger to put in your mouth when you whistle for the waiter
%%
WWW: World Wide Wait
%%
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
%%
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash, If Not, The Operating System Hangs
%%
DEC: Do Expect Cuts
%%
DOS: Defunct Operating System
%%
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
%%
SCSI: System Can't See it
%%
BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
%%
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit Losing Entity
%%
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
%%
The server threw an exception.
%%
General protection fault at address 7896:000F. Press F15 to continue
%%
Murphy was an optimist. It ALWAYS goes wrong, especially if it's mission
critical!
%%
"Please feel free to blither now." -- THHGTTG
%%
Disks travel in packs. (/usr/games/fortune)
%%
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.  "Supernatural" is a null
word.              -- Robert Heinlein
%%
"The Wedge went to immediate WeDon'tEvenHaveAColorForThis Alert."
    -- Undocumented Features I
%%
Memory fault -- core...uh...um...core... Oh, I forget!
%%
NO CARRIER
%%
 To this day she declares that I told her one moving anecdote as to how a
musket looked into my tent at the dead of night, and how I fired a
double-barrelled tiger cub at it. --Watson, in "The Sign of the Four"
%%
Kernel panic: I have no root and I want to scream <--- perfect error message
%%
One man's constant is another man's variable.
%%
A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to
the irrelevant.
%%
A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in
God.
%%
Think of it! With VLSI we can pack 100 ENIACs in 1 sq.cm.
%%
Within a computer natural language is unnatural.
%%
Once is chance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.
%%
F^HSeeding the pseudorandom number generator for fun and profit^W^W.
%%
We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please 
rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.
%%
Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches/sec.
%%
One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking
zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C
programs.  -- Robert Firth
%%
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
%%
Bad or missing mouse driver. Blame the cat? (Y/N)
%%
Never attribute to malloc what can be easily explained by stupidity.
%%
I am logged in, therefore I am.
%%
The fact that windows is one of the most popular ways to operate a
computer means that evolution has made a general [ ]up and our race is
doomed.
%%
"shutdown -halt now" - The final word in network security tools.
%%
To err is human...to really foul up requires the root password.
%%
"e, s, s, s, n, e, e, nw, get chest, se, n, d" - Sound familiar??????
%%
VMS is a text-only adventure game. If you win you can use unix.
%%
"Mr. Worf, scan that ship."  "Aye Captain. 300 dpi?"
%%
The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity -
the rest is overhead for the operating system.
%%
One program's data is another program's metadata.