Light Bulb jokes
Dated: pre-2000
How many _____ does it take to change a lightbulb?
StarTrek lightbulb jokes
- Klingons: "Klingons do NOT change lightbulbs!"
- Vulcans: Exactly 1.00000000
- Ensigns: They can't, they get electrocuted everytime they go near one.
- Androids: "Lightbulb: a device for giving out light. An object emitting photons on command. Invented by Thomas Alva Edison in... Yes, sir!"
- Borg: "Changing the bulb is irrelevant. It will be assimilated."
- Q: "Changing lightbulbs is boring, I'll set it as a test for Jean-Luc!"
- Troi: "I sense a lot of bad humor here"
- Riker: "What the hell?"
- Picard: (insert a long pro-lightbulb speech here, involving rights to be changed, etc)
- Geordi: "The illumination device requires high frequency replacement but by replacing it with an isolinear multidimensional matrix chip, we can increase the power output by 42%."
- Wesley: "I can do that!"
- Kirk: "Spock... isthere... any... way... we... can..."
- Spock: "Captain, sensor's show that this lightbulb is not operational"
- McCoy: "It's dead, Jim" or "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an electrician!"
- Scotty: "We're running low on dilithium, Captain. I dunno how many more bulbs we can replace"
- Chekov: "Light bulbs were inwented in Russia" (apologies to Russians)
- Sulu: "Setting course for nearest electrical shop, Captain"
- Uhura: "Should I hail Radio Shack, Captain?"
- Ferengi: He'll sell you a new one... double price (and you'll think it's a bargain!)
- Tribbles: .
Star Wars
- Luke Skywalker: "I don't need a lightbulb when I have a lightsaber!"
- Han Solo: "Chewie! Get me a hydrospanner and a spare bulb... what do you mean, we're out of bulbs??"
- Yoda: "Change the bulb you must, hmm?"
- Obi-Wan Kenobi: "Use the gloves, Luke"
- Darth Vader: He won't change the bulb, he wants everyone to join the dark side.
- Emperor: "I had foreseen that the bulb would need replacement"
- Stormtroopers: 39, one to change the bulb, 38 to get shot.
- Ewoks: about 10-15 will do it.
- Jabba the Hutt: He'll put out a bounty on the old lightbulb for failing him.
- Boba Fett: He doesn't go after small fry.
- Admiral Ackbar: "Prepare to change lightbulbs on my mark!"
- Mon Mothma: "Many Bothan spies died changing this lightbulb"
