Signs that you are a Star Trek Fan (Trekkie/Trekker)

(Dated pre-1998)

1. You walk into closed doors.
2. You talk to elevators (lifts) and are surprised when nothing happens.
3. When in a difficult situation, you reach for your phaser.
4. You tug at your shirt before saying anything.
5. You are fluent in Klingonese.
6. You try the Vulcan nerve-pinch / mind-meld and are surprised that it doesn't work.
7. You call your favourite bar '10-forward'
8. You are on more than 2 trek-related mailing lists.
9. You contribute daily to over 4 trek-related USENET groups.
10. Your IRC nick is a Trek reference.
11. You flick open a cellular phone like a communicator.
12. When paged you reach for your communicator.
13. You call your best friend Spock.
14. You call your cat Spot.
15. You think of William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Patrick Stewart, etc. as Capt. Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Capt. Picard.
16. The opening song plays whenever you boot your computer.
17. Your Star Trek directory has sub-directories.
18. People stare at you in the street, and then you realise you're wearing a Trek uniform.
19. You search for the 'magnify' button on the TV remote.
20. You get into fights over whether Kirk is better than Picard.
21. You know the correct response to 'Live long and prosper'.
22. You know all the characters' serial numbers in Starfleet.
23. You want to join NASA, take over, and rename it Starfleet.
24. You understand warp theory.